so while this is kind of a repeat of an old post, i feel that i am in constant confusion about whether to stay in utah or move back to california! i hate, correction, i HATE living so far away from my family. it's the #1 reason for moving back to cali- if they would move here, the majority of my reasons for wanting to move out of the 45th state and back to the 31st are gone, granted there's still the quality of education, and the desire for my kids to feel what's it's like to not be part of the majority when it comes to religion, to have people watching, i know maybe it sounds mean, but it was a huge part of school for me, people wondering why i was different, and what was a mormon. i want my kids to grow up spending more time at their grandparents in the summer playing with their cousins than just the week or two we might be able to make it out for.
i love our home here. granted it still needs more remodeling, but i continue to entertain ideas in my head about what we could do, believe me, it would be amazing! so the debate is, do i stay here because i'm comfortable, and it's easy. we have good jobs, great friends, a good ward and we like our neighbors, or is it really just better for us to be here because this is where we are supposed to be, and it's going to be the best place for us to raise our little family? i feel when i pray about it i've almost become martin harris like, i keep asking and i'm afraid answers i'm getting are just because i've been praying to move back to california since january 3, 2000, the day i got here, and it's time to go, and move and be happy about it, or stay, be quiet and be happy about it! AHHH! sometimes i just need to see things on paper to help me make a decision, maybe it will work this time now that i'm throwing it out into the universe....maybe...
Sunday, April 27, 2008
to move or not to move, that is the question
Posted by jennsekona at 7:53 PM
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3 comments:
Jenny,
I feel your pain. For real. It's so hard being so far away. And I'm not even within driving distance!!
Doug tells me that we'll move in a couple of years (once he hits the five year mark) and I think great. But then part of me says, "wait - we don't just move on a certain date, we need to move when we are supposed to move." You know? For us I think it will come down to this:
-Can Doug get a job where he makes as much and can support his family and be happy at - as he is here.
-Will the timing be right for everyone - not just me?
-Will we be able to live in something decent in a decent neighborhood? Not something grandiose, mind you...just nice. And safe.
-Does the Lord want us to move?
I guess that's where we are. It's funny because I miss not living in CA after being there and after hearing about fun things. But at the same time - we are really happy here. We have good friends and a good ward and it's nice.
Long story short - I FEEL YOUR PAIN. I just want to be happy. And realize that I can be happy here too...and not wast the years away wanting something else when happiness was right here on my doorstep. You know?
I read your post and thought long and hard about it. We are here now in Sacramento, but we sure miss living in Texas. Of the material things, its so darn EXPENSIVE here. We will never be able to have a house as nice as our house in Texas, and inturn we will probably never be able to do a lot of family vacations, because all we will be trying to do is afford to pay our house. Granted it is nice to be close to home, but we aren't "close" enough. We have yet to have a visitor here . . .except my Mom and Dale. We are still alone out here too. We can afford the "not so nice" houses and in the "not so desirable" areas.
Matt and I have discussed often, if Matt's job wasn't going SOUR in San Antonio, we would still be there . . . I love Utah. I am always trying to be happy where Matt and I are and OUR family. Another thing, I love having Matt and Shelly and being on our own. Not like, you are someone's daughter or this and that. Don't you love having your own identity in Utah. Wow, I rambled.
I think you should stay but that's cause I'm selfish
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